Here we go, the time where I confess some of my embarrassing new mama moments. I hope I’m not alone, so if you also have some ‘moments’ to confess please feel free to write them in the comments, no judgment here! For now though I hope these give you bit of a giggle.
1. Stealing hospital ice packs
I tore with my son and as you know or can imagine; my lady bits were extremely sore. I had been given just two of those wonderful disposable ice packs you pop in your undies (on top of your massive maternity pad/nappy) by one of the midwives. After maybe an hour they had stopped working their magic and weren’t cold anymore…I NEEDED more. It was late at night, there were no visitors and I couldn’t see any nurses around. My new little sweet bundle was asleep so I decided to take it upon myself and get some more of these magic packs.
Picture this, I did the ‘I just pushed out a baby’ duck waddle down the hospital corridor with my legs spread wide apart all whilst in my massive dressing gown. I found the nursing mothers room and in the freezer I found a huge amount of the ice packs, I was in heaven. I needed all of these in my life and I knew that I was probably heading home the next day and didn’t prepare any for when I got home. I couldn’t see anyone around and couldn’t walk any further to ask if I could take some so I just decided to take a few, okay.. maybe like 20 back with me to pop in my bag. I didn’t know if I was allowed, so I shoved them in my pockets and under my arms and covered up with the dressing gown. On my waddle back to bed I dropped a few just as a nurse was walking past, I was so embarrassed! Luckily she was a nice nurse and told me I can take more if I want, she didn’t see I had heaps in my dressing gown pockets but hey, I wasn’t letting go of that offer. I think by the time I went home I ended up with about 40 of them, haha!
2. Forgetting to pop in my breast pads
I was at the doctors in the waiting room just minding my own business. A baby started crying and I felt like my boobs were about to start squirting, I was sitting there thinking ‘It’s all good, I have my breast pads in’ but then I looked down and I was wrong. Two wet patches right on my boobs. I quickly rushed to the toilet, grabbed some paper towels and made some make shift breast pads. Luckily it was winter and I had a jacket on, so I just buttoned it up and all was well (besides the fact I smelt like booby milk). I never again forgot to pop in my breast pads after that!
3. The pram fell backwards with my newborn in it
It was the first time I had been shopping on my own and I thought I was holding it together pretty well. That was until I put the baby bag on the back of the pram in the wrong spot. I went to grab something off the shelf and the pram flipped backwards falling on the ground. My son was in there asleep at the time and didn’t wake, he was totally fine. Unfortunately there were some teenage girls next to me and they were having a nasty giggle to each other. I was so embarrassed that I quickly picked up the pram, put everything back on the shelf and went to leave. As I turned the corner a lovely lady stopped me, gave me a smile and told me its happened to her before too and I was doing a good job. It felt good to know I wasn’t alone, however totally embarrassing.
4. No top on and the neighbour visits
Those first few weeks of breastfeeding felt constant. What was the point of even wearing a shirt? I was also having some issues with my supply and was told to do lots of skin on skin. Here I was just watching TV with no top on whilst my son was feeding. I had a pillow covering up the other side in the unlikely event of someone showing up at the front door (it’s glass) Lucky I did!! I looked up and there was my neighbour at our door. I quickly grabbed a blanket and covered myself up, it was still a very embarrassing moment.
5. Poo explosions all over me
This happened a number of times. The first time I was at my parents house holding my son and felt a warmth all over me. I looked down in hope that it was just wee but I was wrong, so very wrong. It was everywhere! Luckily I was at my parents so I could borrow some clothes from my Mum. The second time It happened it ended up just on my pants, I had a long coat on, so could cover up the massive wet patch from where I cleaned it off. Besides having poo literally squirted on my clothes I have also realised after smelling poo constantly whilst out and about that I had some on my hands after changing my son. I wish I could go back in time and just wash my damn hands! I am so sorry to anyone who witnessed that, please know it was my son’s poo, not mine.
If you have any embarrassing moments you would like to confess please leave a comment, I would love to have a good giggle.